hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
