So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
