if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
