so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
birth control should be required to get into college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
