She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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