hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
