well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have aggressive nipples.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
