someone owes me an orgasm
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
