hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
