I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
