either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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