Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
