I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I could fuck to npr.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
