i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
