I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
