I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
