Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
