So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
