can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
