I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
