are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
