these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
