I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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