Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just high enough for therapy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
