Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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