I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
