Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
