Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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