Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
