just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
