I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
