your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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