You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
