I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
