hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
