I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
