You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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