I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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