yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
