Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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