how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
