everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
