I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
