I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my phone needs a breathalizer
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
