Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
