We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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