apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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