Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
