Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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