you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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