rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
