i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
