I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
